Body Language: Be Careful What You Don't Speak
By Judi Perkins
What your body language says is often more important than what
you say verbally, especially when the two conflict. When
they’re in sync, your movements are a reflection of what
you’re thinking and what you’re feeling: your conscious
and your unconscious. But when they aren’t, the unconscious
prevails.
Why? Because while people will make themselves conscious of their
words, few are conscious of their feelings and how that translates
into body language, much less what that body language is saying.
And in an interview, that can result in sending a message opposite
what you intend.
A person who was recently fired or laid off is a good example of
this dichotomy, especially when the termination takes place for
reasons that have little to do with any situation the individual
instigated. You did nothing to cause the severance, but you feel
responsible anyway.
Since few job seekers know how to put a termination in perspective
and handle it appropriately, it comes out how they move and how
they conduct themselves. Almost every action is an apology. You
knock gently on the door when the administrative assistant says,
“Mr. Jackson can see you now.” You not only ask
permission to sit, but you ask which chair. You either over explain
or under answer.
Instead of speaking smoothly in a relaxed manner, your voice is too
loud or can’t be heard. You say “um” or
“ah” at the beginning and in the middle of your
sentences. Everything about you screams insecure, even though
you’re managing to articulate your accomplishments.
The result is that the hiring authority is puzzled as to how you
managed to achieve so much, when your manner isn’t conducive
to making things happen. It leaves him with a question about you.
Hiring authorities don’t like to be left with questions; they
want to be 100% confident of who they hire. So you’re out of
the picture.
But this conflict doesn’t only occur with those have been
dismissed by their employer. It can also happen when someone
doesn’t have a degree, but has excelled in their career and
frequently ends up competing with those who do. Or when
you’ve been unemployed a long time, and you really need a
job. Or if you’ve had your eye on being part of this company
and finally you’ve snagged an interview. Or if you’re
just plain insecure.
There’s a plethora of articles that list hundreds of body
language cues you should pay attention to. But that’s like
trying to learn the different interview styles and how to respond
to each one. It’s a waste of time. You’ll spend so much
time trying to remember what to do, how to do it, when to do it, if
what you’re doing is correct or not, that it becomes
difficult to focus on selling yourself and learning if the company
is compatible with who you are and what you want.
It starts with your head. If you don’t feel confident, then
stop thinking you aren’t. Find the reasons why you’re
an asset to a company. List your skills and contributions. Put
together a sales pitch on yourself, and then take it to heart.
Actions mirror thoughts and thoughts mirror actions. When
you’re thinking confidently, you behave confidently and vice
versa.
At the same time, you can program one to follow the other. Pay
attention to yourself, what you’re feeling and what’s
going on around you. If you notice yourself shuffling in through
the company door, pick your head up, put a smile on your face, and
walk into the office as if you belong there, because you do. You
have an interview, and they’re expecting you.
An interview is a sales presentation. You’re the product, and
the hiring authority is the buyer. If you’re communicating
that you’re not good enough to be hired, why would a company
think differently?
