Q&A with Dr Lois Frankel
By Dr. Lois Frankel
Q: I'm in my mid-50's and having a hard time finding a job. I've been to several interviews but was never chosen for the position. I'm feeling that between my age and having gained a little weight too that I'm no longer able to compete with younger, prettier women with less experience. Do you have any tips?
A: As a 50-ish woman myself I can relate to what you're saying. We have to work hard at competing with our younger sisters -- but we do have advantages. I believe age and wisdom can triumph over youth and beauty. Make sure you aren't doing things that are sabotaging your own best efforts:
Go to the cosmetics department of your local department store and get a free makeover. Learn how to present yourself in the best light possible. Looking good makes us feel better about ourselves and when we do, we perform better.
Spring for a good "interview suit." Buy something dark in color, conservative, and flattering that makes you feel good when you put it on. Again, it will contribute to your self-confidence.
Go into the interview prepared to tell the interviewer 3 specific strengths you bring to the party. Practice saying them in confident terms.
Do some research about the company interviewing you. Be prepared to say how you can help them achieve their goals with your experiences and skills.
Be upbeat and positive. People hire candidates they like and would like to be around. Smile, have a firm handshake, show interest in the job and the company. Don't just answer questions and walk out the door.
Q: My main "hurdle" is articulating an intelligent idea in a public meeting with my colleagues. It's quite a political atmosphere with a bitchy audience that doesn't always engage in healthy debate. Help!
A: You will increase the likelihood of delivering an impactful message if you prepare it mentally before opening your mouth. Here are some suggestions to consider:
Most women can decrease their communications by about 20% and the extra words won't be missed. Decide if you fit into this category. Remember, using more words softens a message whereas fewer words strengthens it.
When responding to a question, listen carefully to what kind of question it is. If it's a yes/no, then the first words out of your mouth should be yes or no. If it's multiple choice, you should choose one option and support it.
The most memorable or most important part of your message should be your lead sentence. Don't fall into the trap of giving a lot of information then getting to the point. Give your bottom-line first.
Back up your one sentence lead with two or three data points or pieces of supporting information. When you get to the third point, stop!
Don't feel compelled to fill in the silence after you've given your message succinctly. It will undo what you just did. Instead, ask a question yourself such as, "Did I make myself clear?" or "Do you have any questions?"
