Do You Like Yourself?
By Deborah Brown-VolkmanDo You Like Yourself?
Many people believe that outside perceptions shape their
career, and if others had a better view of them, they would be
further along in their career.
The truth is that your own opinion of yourself has a bigger
impact on your career than the opinions of others. Your inner voice
determines how you act, and how you act determines whether you are
successful or not. Your view of yourself determines whether you
will live into your career potential or you will have life long
career difficulties.
Many people I speak with don't like themselves very much. You
can't tell from the outside. They are accomplished people. But when
you dig a little deeper, you uncover the truth, the scars, the
wounds, and the emotional pain. The belief that they are not good
enough; that no matter what they do, or what they achieve, it will
not be enough. That there is somewhere else to get to, or once they
are perfect, everything will fall into place.
Would you like to like yourself more? It
would help your career and take you places you've never been.
Whether a negative self-view is temporary due to something that
happened, or part of a bigger problem of career challenges, you can
change it by following these three steps below:
1. Recognize the self-inflicted harm of having a
negative self view
The result is you are not going after what you want, you are
not happy, and you are unfulfilled in your career. Begin your
journey to change by being honest with yourself. Ask why am I so
hard on myself? Where did this high standard come from? And, why
don't I like myself more? These are hard questions to ask, but your
answers will set you free. What you keep inside festers and grows.
What you release can't hurt you anymore. Everyone has something
they wish they would have done differently in their career, but if
your mistakes are overshadowing your accomplishments, then your
career will continue to be hard for you.
2. Decide to like yourself
All change begins with a decision to make that change. No one
can make this decision for you. It has to come from you, not
because you should, but because you want to. This is important. You
may not want to change. Maybe being hard on yourself keeps you safe
because you don't have to fail or feel the pain that failure
brings. Or, you may want to change, but because someone keeps
pushing you, you've decided to stand still. Liking yourself comes
from an internal place. We look to the outside to feel better about
ourselves, but only you can do that for you. When you tell yourself
that you will think better of yourself, you can begin to formulate
a career plan that will be backed with a belief that you can do
anything with confident and persistent.
3. Move forward
Because your career spans many years, your goal at certain points
is to get back on the horse after you have fallen off. It's about
giving it another try because you want to be happy, want to help
others, and want to make an impact on the world. You may be afraid
to move forward, but aren't you more afraid of staying where you
are? Tell yourself that you are good enough, and your
accomplishments mean something. Remind yourself of your career
wins, and how good they felt when you obtained them. Decide that
you will feel that good again. Then, go after what you want step by
step until you get there.


