Revealing Potential Medical Details in an Interview
By Joan Lloyd
Dear Joan: I am currently seeking a new
career opportunity; I have recently discovered news, which will
affect a prospective employer with whom I secure an interview. We
have just discovered my wife has cancer. It is difficult enough to
secure opportunities in today's market and I have always stressed
integrity and honesty as things I look for in associates and
portray in my own behavior.
The question is when does one bring this up during the
interview process? Most certainly, it will be an issue affecting
attendance, when I am needed during medical care and on certain
days when she just cannot make it while I am at work. It is also a
concern for any prospects that may require relocation.
Answer
I am so sorry about your wife’s illness. And the added
burden on you, in addition to trying to find a job, must be
difficult. I hope my answer gives you a way out, without
compromising your integrity.
I think telling a potential employer anything about your wife
is premature. While it is caring and kind of you to want to be a
caregiver who has to take off significant amounts of time from
work, I’m not sure I agree with your logic.
Without knowing the seriousness of the situation, you may be
painting a more serious picture than you need to. For example, she
may react well to the treatment and not need your personal
attention as much as you think.
If necessary, couldn’t you find a neighbor or friend who
might be willing to help out with doctor visits? You could pay for
their time. There are also many home health agencies that provide
services such as driving someone to the doctor, getting
prescriptions filled, fixing lunch, or simply just checking on
someone. Our family used a service to help out when my father was
ill, and he looked forward to the visits from this service. It was
a godsend for me, as I couldn’t help out much during the work
day. My clients wouldn’t appreciate frequent, last minute
cancellations. A good compromise was developing a good working
relationship and communication with his home health aide. A kind
neighbor also helped out and checked on him.
I wonder what your wife thinks about this. She may experience
more peace of mind knowing you were gainfully employed, rather than
worrying that the money was running out because of her illness and
your inability to get a job. In addition, if you become stressed
out—as all caregivers are—how useful will you be to her
if both of you are depressed and anxious?
Having a job can be not only a financial safety net, but a
mental escape for you. If you are happy at work, and providing for
your family, I suspect you will be able to keep a stronger mental
attitude when you are with her. And she needs that right now.
If things progress to a point where you are needed at home,
that is a different matter. Most organizations are willing to make
accommodations for serious situations. Then a leave of absence,
flexible hours, or part-time hours may be a solution. But an
organization is not going to hire someone who declares that he is
going to be the only care giver—with no effort made
to bring in other resources first.
