Because everyone should dig their job

How to Win Friends and Influence People: HR Edition

By Ben Eubanks

Want to be a true HR leader within your business? Learn to influence others. When you think about it, there are few decisions that HR makes with ultimate authority. A significant portion of what we accomplish comes through the influence, coaching, and guidance of our peers, executives, and staff.

I’d even go so far as saying that the majority of what we are proud of as HR leaders comes from what we accomplish without making the final decision ourselves. I can think of dozens of instances throughout my career where I was able to encourage and shape decisions that were good for the company and employees–but they otherwise wouldn’t have occurred without some outside influence. This can include anything from coaching an employee on how to communicate with his boss to helping the CEO understand the need to support a culture initiative.

One of the books I’ve long appreciated is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. The concepts in the book can help anyone in any role, but I’ve always felt they are particularly appealing to HR because of our need to drive performance and action through those around us. Check out this list of tactics, characteristics, and methods for winning friends and influencing people: While some of them are simple (smile, make the other person feel important, etc.), they also have the power to change your approach and your results.

The book was published in 1936. Do you think these tenets still hold true today?

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

  1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

  2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.

  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six ways to make people like you

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.

  2. Smile.

  3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

  5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

  6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Win people to your way of thinking

  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

  2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”

  3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

  4. Begin in a friendly way.

  5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.

  6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

  7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

  8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

  9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

  10. Appeal to the nobler motives.

  11. Dramatize your ideas.

  12. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader’s job often includes changing your people’s attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

  1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.

  2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

  3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.

  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.

  5. Let the other person save face.

  6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”

  7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.

  8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.

  9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.