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The Annoying Co-Worker

OK, so you would never put a whole chicken in the office microwave, set it on high for 15 minutes, walk away, and leave your colleagues to suffer the fetid, reeking results of your lunchtime experiment. And you would never conduct cell phone conversations at top volume--in the bathroom. Nor would you clip your fingernails in a board meeting. Right?

While these are examples of the master annoyers, they are at least good for a funny anecdote. However, the more common, sometimes subtle, annoyances can be disastrous in the office and might cause others to avoid you just as much as they would the fingernail-clipping boor mentioned above.

We all know an annoying co-worker, but none of us is one. This--the great mystery of the working world--can only be explained in one of two ways. Either a tiny minority is working triple time to annoy the rest of us—sneaking into the break room to pour the last cup of coffee, then jamming the copier as they rush back to the cubicle to clear their throats vociferously—or we are all living in denial and are, in fact, annoying co-workers.

Don't stop reading: it could happen to you. One day you're the talker and the next day you're the talked-about. It's time for some serious introspection. For, while you can't necessarily get fired for nonstop whistling or strange nasal sounds (or a curious combination of both), you can certainly suffer the worst of all fates: being the annoying co-worker. Here's a handy list that will help you avoid annoying the people you work with.

Equipment/Supplies

Does it seem like people visibly stiffen when you walk in a room? Have you noticed that Jason from Marketing has stopped talking to you and responds to everything you say with an icy glare? There's probably an easy explanation for this behavior and it probably relates to—yes, you guessed it—the copier. It might seem petty, but never underestimate the importance of equipment and supplies etiquette.

Leave it like you found it. Or better than you found it. Leave paper trays full, work areas neat, supplies on the right shelf, and fax machines cleared of all numbers.
Take initiative to address problems as they come up. If you notice the "Low Toner" light is blinking while using the copier, don't ignore it – replace it. It may take a few extra minutes and a little bit of hassle – but you'll be happy you did it when someone does the same for you.
Don't hoard resources. You might be tempted to store 10 legal pads and 20 of your favorite pens in your desk drawer "just in case," but others need those items as well.
If you break it, own up to it. If you jam the copier, short out the fax machine, or topple a stack of office supplies in the closet, admit it – then try to remedy the situation. If it's beyond your capabilities – the copy repair service needs to be called, for example – let the proper person know about the problem so it can be addressed immediately.
Use the fair warning system. If you know you are about to receive a 40-page fax, or need to print a 200-page document on the shared printer, let everyone know so they can plan around it. If you're making hundreds of copies but Amanda from Accounting needs to make only one, take a break from your job to let her cut in and make her copy. It may be a pain to interrupt your flow, but it's better than being considered a pain.

Common Spaces

Once upon a time there were little elves who would come into the office lunchroom, clean up people's dirty dishes and make sure there was a fresh pot of coffee on at all times. They took care of all those things that were "soaking" in the sink, dumped the milk when it was past its pull date, and replaced toilet paper rolls. They also hunted down evildoers who stole other people's lunches or who ate one-third of the last cookie.

Alas, those days are over and now it's just people helping people. Make sure you're not the subject of a break room note ("WHO took the last of my peanut butter!?!??"). Here's a refresher course in common space etiquette.

If you mess it up, clean it up – this includes all communal spaces like kitchens, break rooms, bathrooms, meeting rooms, reception areas, as well as parking lots and outdoor eating areas.
Wash your dishes and clean up your messes immediately. You may think that you'll do it later, but you may forget during the busy day. Also, while your messes are waiting for "later," your co-workers are noticing the mess and trying to figure out who left it.
If you use the last of something – toilet paper, coffee filters, paper towels, etc. – replace it. If the stock room is out of a supply or running low, let the proper person know.
Cover your food with a plate or paper towel when using the communal microwave. It's easier to avoid splatters and spills than to clean them up. And, there's nothing worse than going to use the microwave and finding that it's covered with baked-on spaghetti sauce!
Leave no trace. If you bring a lunch in the morning, remember to bring what ever is left at the end of the day home with you. Don't leave it in the fridge for "later."
Make sure your food is tightly covered. Nobody wants to smell your lunch, or worse, discover that his or her lunch has started to taste like your lunch after sharing space in the fridge.
Don't use your office wastebasket or communal trash cans to dispose of potentially smelly or unusually messy waste. Instead, empty soda cans completely before throwing them in wastebaskets, take food items that spoil straight to the dumpster, and dispose of your used tissues in the bathroom when you have a cold.
Keep in mind that someone cleans the bathroom, vacuums, polishes the furniture, and washes the windows, and his/her job is difficult enough already. If you make an out-of-the-ordinary mess on the floor while shredding documents, spill an entire container of soap on the bathroom floor, or leave sticky marks on the conference table, do your best to clean it up, or, at the very least, apologize and let the proper person know what has happened so it won't be an unpleasant surprise.

Other Common Annoyances

Now we get to the real introspection. Admit it: you've come to work sick. But you weren't that sick, right? And you've talked about your kids a fair amount. But your kids are cuter than other peoples' kids. And you hum pretty regularly. But your humming is pleasant. Take a deep breath and be honest with yourself. Are you the co-worker who

talks loudly while on the phone, slamming doors, having loud conversations, clearing your throat loudly and regularly – basically making any loud and distracting noises on a regular basis?
fakes helplessness to get out of doing work? Nothing's worse than the person who can't – or won't – learn how to do simple tasks (like fixing copier paper jams, for example) because they know that someone else will do them instead.
comes to work when you are sick and spreading your germs? People think they are showing their dedication when they stick out a day at work while battling the flu, but nothing could be farther from the truth. Going to work ill and getting everyone else sick doesn't help anyone or prove anything.
sells stuff at work – Avon, Amway, your kid's school fundraiser items? Nobody wants to be pressured to buy something they don't want at the workplace.
does stuff at work that you should be doing at home? This includes downloading music, making calls to plan your wedding, shopping online for gifts and even more personal activities like flossing or painting your nails. Believe it or not, people actually do these things!
is chronically late, unprepared, unorganized and full of excuses?
shares detailed information about your life? The fight you had this morning with your boyfriend, the weird dream you had about your third-grade teacher last night – with everyone, despite whether they are interested or not.
makes the rounds and telling the same funny story, so that every person in the office has to hear it 14 times?
borrows stuff and doesn't return it?
complains rather than working proactively to address problems or make changes?

The good news is that, if you answered "yes" to any of the above common annoyances, you are that much closer to ridding yourself of an annoying habit. And if you have read through the entire article and cannot identify with any one of these quirks, then you know what to do: forward it on in an all-staff email.