It's just a suggestion
By Rick Speckmann
How many times have you found yourself feeling sandblasted with another person's advice. It is pretty frustrating to be in the presence of the annoying, highly opinionated "advice giver". After all, you were only looking for some input and some how you ended up with a command.
Why is it that some people don't know the difference between providing a recommendation and shouting an order. Regardless of the work environment, back in the shop or in an office setting our work requires that we communicate frequently. How we provide that advice or opinion is one of the determining factors of our communication comfort with a fellow worker. How many times have you found yourself retreating as the "opinion-ator" approaches? If it is a manager you are retreating from you are really stuck. It's hard to hide from the boss. So how does one avoid be lectured to, or making it appear that an idea is the one and only RIGHT idea? Better yet, what is the right way to give a suggestion?
Giving a suggestion actually begins with listening skills. First you have to be asked. Some people volunteer advice spontaneously. That is obnoxious! When a fellow worker asks you for input you need to say to yourself; "They are only asking for a suggestion, and that is what I will give them". It is pretty simple when you think about it. After all, how many people have approached you and said "I need you to tell me exactly and totally what I should think!" The next step is to make sure you understand what the person is expecting you to comment on. This is accomplished with a qualifying question or two. All too often we tend to react too quickly in giving our opinion or ideas. Rather than jump to conclusions make sure you have all the information before responding. Imagine a doctor removing your appendix only to discover later that you were actually suffering from indigestion caused by your mother-in-laws stew. Of additional note, be sure to determine if you are providing a piece of the solution or helping the person get to an action step.
If you are the person asking for help learn to qualify how much input you are looking for. Rather than ask, "What should I do," qualify with, "I am working on an issue and I want to run through a couple of points with you before I make my decision." In this case you contain the amount of "suggestion" you will get from the person. This is particularly helpful with a boss who often mistakenly assumes you the boss to make a decision. It is a control thing with bosses and you have to help control their response. Managers and fellow workers mean well in responding with an opinion but sometimes they get carried away.
It is a high compliment to be asked for your opinion and it is an even greater compliment when the person utilizes your information to make a better decision. Unfortunately many of us respond as if we expect our feedback to be the final outcome. Make sure you remember you were asked for a suggestion, not a command.
