We Really Need to Talk
By Rick Speckmann
Oftentimes the toughest part of working with other people is knowing when and how to communicate. Manager's and employees alike have a tendency to withhold comments when they perceive that the other person might react negatively. How many times have you found yourself biting your lip instead of stating what you really feel? Speaking openly to a fellow worker or worse yet, speaking your mind to a manager is one of the greatest challenges in getting along with people at work. Unfortunately this not only stockpiles important and timely feedback it also builds negative emotions from a molehill into a volcano. Not only are you and that person out of synch and disheartened, your entire team senses the tension. It is these situations that can deplete the energy of your entire team.
The funny thing is, the discomfort we each initially feel in speaking up is far less severe than the mounting pain of sitting on our words. Have you ever kept your thoughts to yourself only to find out that days or weeks later they finally come out anyway? Unfortunately they can come out with the force of an erupting volcano. When this happens there is deafening noise, and someone always feels as if they got burned. Communication effectiveness is dependant on timely, diplomatic and specific dialog with each employee and manager.
A manager who withholds comments creates an environment of stress, anxiety and lack of trust. A fellow employee who doesn't get timely comments from you might feel "set-up" by you when things come out later. How often have you heard, "If only I had known you felt that way, things could have been different."? Don't let your co-workers stockpile words. Rest assured, they have something to say. There is no time like the present to speak up. It begins with you. Make it a daily practice among your team to communicate in a timely, courteous and forthright manner.
Great leaders make it comfortable for employees to speak up first before they have to intervene. Good work relationships are based on having the courage to speak up when you have an opinion. What once took courage now becomes anxiety free. With practice you develop better WordHabits®. If it appears that someone has something to say, reach out and encourage them to speak up. Encouraging others to speak their mind diminishes tension and stress and builds mutual respect. The end result of sharing communication is that you establish trust. What we all wouldn't give for a little more trust and confidence.
