Doing or BeingBy Jane Weddle
95% of the problems we have with time management are really not about managing time, but about managing our attitude, according to Daryl Davis, author of How to Become a Power Agent in Real Estate. It has been my experience through coaching and facilitating courses on the topic of managing time that this is very true!
I often talk in my seminars about the fact that we all have 24 hours in a day and we can not borrow or save “TIME”. I tell participants that the key to managing time is really about managing the events in our lives; however in order to manage events we do have to manage our attitude! Davis went on to tell the story about the ballerina. He states: “When a ballerina is being the dance, it’s a beautiful sight to behold. When she is simply doing the dance, that’s when she messes up.”
I started thinking about this concept of “doing vs. being” and realized that it is easy to “Do” and takes a different mind set to “Be”. What happens when we just “Do”? You go through the motions, you tend to not commit to anything, and it tends to take a lot of effort! What happens when we “Be”? We are committed, we have energy, we set goals, and we follow through! The actions and attitudes we show when we “Do” are a lot different than when we Be!
There are some activities or roles in life we just “DO”—you need to focus and follow through with the role, task or activity no matter how unpleasant, mundane or tedious it may be---think about how you feel when you are just “Doing”—where is your attitude? Now think about times where you are “Being”—being a mom, being a dad, being a an HR Director, a CEO, being a golfer, being a partner, or just being a friend---think about how you feel when you are being?
Action Step: Take out a sheet of paper and divide it into two columns and at the top put any role in your life you want to evaluate. For now let’s look at the role of HR Director. Then label one column Doing and the other column Being. Now think about what behaviors or thoughts you tend to have that would fall under the Doing column? Then think about what behaviors or thought you tend to have that fall under the Being column? Don’t be surprised if one column has more items than another or has none at all!
- When I look at the things I wrote in either column am I actually doing them or are they things I have told myself I should be doing?
- Then, ask yourself based on my list am I “doing HR” or am I “being HR?”
- What actions do I need to take if the activity shows me I am “doing” vs. “being”?
- Lastly, am I ready, willing and able to make those changes?
- Make a plan and move forward to Being!