Rescue Fantasies
By Nicole Williams
No judgment here. Based on conversations I’ve had with my friends, co-workers and young women around the country, everyone has a rescue fantasy of some sort. And let’s face it, when you’re pushing your limits – with your money, your work, your goals – some of these scenarios start looking pretty attractive. It just takes one brutal day to re-ignite your daydreams about that nerdy guy from Chem class who was destined to be a billionaire. After all, he did have a crush on you during high school…
Don’t worry. Rescue fantasies are generally harmless, and they can be a great way to figure out your money “weak spots” – the subtle ways you might be avoiding full control of your life or your money. The fantasy only gets dangerous if you’re really, really counting on that scratch-and-win ticket to pay your bills.
Some of the strongest, most independent women I know still have this nagging sense that their financial situation isn’t quite real. Someone else is out there, waiting to take them away from all that nasty credit card debt. You know what I’m talking about. You met this investment banker last night, and he just may be the handsome answer to your financial troubles. Now, it’s not like you’re Anna Nicole Smith. You don’t have to be feeling up an 89-year-old oil baron to understand the Prince Charming fantasy. It’s all about love – but ideally it comes in a wealthy package.
(AKA the stroke of genius that will make you rich, rich, rich)
This is a common one. It’s also the fuel that fires reality TV and pyramid schemes everywhere. Your genius fantasy could involve anything from writing the Great American Novel to getting famous for your fabulous singing voice. The bottom line is this: You have an incredible talent that once revealed, will pay millions and put in you in limos and at the top of Oscar party invite lists.
The Family Windfall
(AKA Great
Aunt Doris stashed major cash in her mattress)
1: A totally unknown, ridiculously wealthy family member leaves you a fat inheritance check. You didn’t even know you had a Great Aunt Doris, but luckily, she knew all about you.
2: Every time you’ve maxed out your AMEX card, your family was there to help. Regardless of whether that help came with strings attached, or it was freely and graciously given, you’ve come to rely on your relatives. Deep down, you believe Daddy will always swoop in and make it better. This is a common (if not often-discussed) fantasy that’s especially potent when you come from wealth and abundance.
(AKA Clawing your way to the bank)
You’re ready to pick out bifocals after 14 blood-shot hours in front of the computer, day after day. And not only have you prepared a power-point presentation, you’ve hired a stylist and a choreographer to polish your delivery. You’re working like a maniac, and you’re sure it will pay off in the end. Emphasis on the “pay.” It doesn’t matter if you’re barely covering your rent, you believe with all your heart that once the CEO sees your potential, she’ll put you on the fast track to riches.
(AKA those Enron shares are going to soar)
You can sniff a great investment from a mile away. Problem is, you smell the questionable ones from six feet. That’s why your stockbroker (or brother, or father-in-law, or deli guy) is giving you tips that can’t lose. We’ve all heard tales of ground-floor stock purchases that turned, literally, into gold. You know it’s gambling, but hey, you’re a winner. Why should this be any different? All you need is a good chunk of change to invest…
(AKA life after the lottery)
Scratch-and-win, slot machines, super prize draws, Vegas – there’s a reason so many of us fantasize about beating the odds and escaping to Ibiza. It’s gotta be the most straightforward rescue fantasy out there. Invest $2, wait a few days, and head back to the 7-Eleven with your winning ticket. Ditch your beat-up wheels and leave in a limo.
Why bother saving for the future? And what’s all this talk of 401(k)s? Everyone knows the only constant is change. When my retirement party rolls around, nothing will be the same, so I’m just gong to wait and see what happens. At the very worst, the government will be there to help, right?
The best way to get past all this emotional quicksand is to have a solid understanding of your own feelings. By figuring out what you really think and feel about money, you can move forward and deal with your cash in ways that are smart and sane. This is a really crucial step, because it ensures you’re standing on solid ground.
