Leave it at the Stream
Instead of being a Monday-morning quarterback, focus on next week's game

By Marshall Goldsmith

"Feedforward" sounds like some eating technique you'd see advertised on late-night TV, guaranteeing weight loss with a faster metabolism. Sorry, folks: Feedforward won't make you thinner, but it may make you happier. (read more...)

Responsibility is Its Own Reward
Great leaders encourage leadership development by openly developing themselves

By Bob Nelson

I've had some interesting jobs in my life. I assembled bicycles. I spent a summer collecting unpaid tickets for a beauty pageant. I was a math tutor, a bookstore receiving clerk, a convenience store cashier, and a camp counselor. They all seemed to be mundane, menial jobs. (read more...)

Family: Get Friendly
Don't make them choose between work and family

By Bev Kaye

There’s been plenty of discussion in recent years on the importance of developing a “family-friendly work culture.” But what does it really mean? (read more...)

Leave it at the Stream (^ top)
Instead of being a Monday-morning quarterback, focus on next week's game.

By Marshall Goldsmith
From, FastCompany, Issue 82, page 103

How many hours of organizational time and productivity are lost in the endless retelling of our coworkers' blunders? How much internal stress do we generate reliving real or imagined slights? On too many occasions, "team building" feedback degenerates into "Let me tell you what you did wrong" and not "Let me ask you what we can do better."

A Buddhist parable illustrates the challenge – and value - of letting go of the past. Two monks were strolling by a stream on their way home to the monastery. They were startled by the sound of a young woman in a bridal gown, sitting by the stream, crying softly. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she gazed across the water. She needed to cross to get to her wedding, but she was fearful that doing so might ruin her beautiful handmade gown.

In this particular sect, monks were prohibited from touching women. But one monk was filled with compassion for the bride. Ignoring the sanction, he hoisted the woman on his shoulders and carried her across the stream--assisting her journey and saving her gown. She smiled and bowed with gratitude as he noisily splashed his way back across the stream to rejoin his companion.

The second monk was livid. "How could you do that?" he scolded. "You know we are forbidden even to touch a woman, much less pick one up and carry her around!"

The offending monk listened in silence to a stern lecture that lasted all the way back to the monastery. His mind wandered as he felt the warm sunshine and listened to the singing birds. After returning to the monastery, he fell asleep for a few hours. He was jostled and awakened in the middle of the night by his fellow monk. "How could you carry that woman?" his agitated friend cried out. "Someone else could have helped her across the stream. You were a bad monk!"

"What woman?" the tired monk inquired groggily.

"Don't you even remember? That woman you carried across the stream," his colleague snapped.

"Oh, her," laughed the sleepy monk. "I only carried her across the stream. You carried her all the way back to the monastery."

The learning point is simple: Leave it at the stream.

Have you ever been amazed by a colleague's near- photographic memory of your previous "sins," which have been meticulously catalogued and are then shared with you as part of an ongoing effort to help you improve? How much does this really help?

Try to remember the last time someone told you something that sounded like this: "Let me point out what you did wrong in the past." How did that make you feel? What happened to the quality of your relationship? Were you more inspired?

Now try to remember the last time you asked someone for suggestions and heard, "Here are some ideas for the future. I hope that some are helpful to you." How did you feel then? What happened to the quality of your relationship? Were you more inspired?

I have watched more than 10,000 leaders practice feedforward. After this practice, I ask them which words best describe this activity. "Helpful," "great," "useful," and "practical" are often mentioned. And the most commonly mentioned word? "Fun."

What is the last word that you think of when you get feedback about the past? Fun. Remember when a boss called you up and sternly requested, "Why don't you come to my office? I have some feedback for you." I doubt your reaction was a joyous "Sounds like fun."

I am not suggesting that we should always let go of the past. Feedback is sometimes necessary and sometimes useful. However, we can often cover almost all of the same ground by just sharing ideas for the future.

Race-car drivers are taught, "Look at the road ahead."

Who knows? Not only may it help you win the race but you'll definitely have a better trip around the track.

Marshall Goldsmith (www.marshallgoldsmith.com ) is corporate America's preeminent executive coach and a founder of Marshall Goldsmith Partners.

Copyright © 2004 Gruner + Jahr USA Publishing. All rights reserved.
Fast Company, 375 Lexington Avenue., New York , NY 10017

Responsibility is Its Own Reward (^ top)

By Bob Nelson

I've had some interesting jobs in my life. I assembled bicycles. I spent a summer collecting unpaid tickets for a beauty pageant. I was a math tutor, a bookstore receiving clerk, a convenience store cashier, and a camp counselor. They all seemed to be mundane, menial jobs.

An Unspoken Lesson

I later learned that I was wrong. Each of those jobs offered opportunities that I ignored and lessons that I have since learned can be obtained from any job, at any level. And you can teach your employees the same lesson.

Take, for example, my job at the convenience store. I did what I was told and what I thought was expected, something that most employees do. And that seemed to consist primarily of waiting to ring up customer purchases.

One day, however, the regional manager walked in. He glanced around the store, and then motioned for me to walk with him. Without saying a word, he started to move up inventory to replace purchased products. He then walked to the food preparation area, wiped down the counter, and emptied a full trash receptacle. It slowly dawned on me that he expected me to do the things that he was doing. This came as a complete surprise to me. It was not because the tasks were new to me — I mopped the floor and emptied the trash every day before my shift was done. What was new was the idea that I needed to be doing these tasks all the time.

Any employee can be good, but to be great, he or she needs to learn the same lesson that I did: People need to be responsible for their own work.

By taking a moment to coach your employees, you can teach them to accept a higher level of ownership for their jobs. Show them that they need to focus on what needs to be done and not wait to be told what to do. Once they understand this, they may find their “mundane” job becomes much more exciting. And reward them when they discover that the more focused they are on what they can do in the job, the more they will be able to accomplish.

Help Them Take Charge

By showing your employees how to take charge, you help them shape their lives and careers. Help them move from being a bystander to acting and reacting. Even entry-level positions will become portals for opportunity and growth — not only for your employee, but for you and your business.

Ask your employees to take to heart this fundamental message: You can make a difference today in your job. All you have to do is be responsible for your own work.

Family: Get Friendly (^ top)
Don't make them choose between work and family

By Bev Kaye

There’s been plenty of discussion in recent years on the importance of developing a “family-friendly work culture.” But what does it really mean?

Employees are asking for a workplace that helps them balance the demands of their work with their personal lives, rather than forcing them to choose one over the other. In turn, organizations that are not family-friendly will have a much harder time attracting and keeping good people.

But if your organization is not particularly family-friendly, do not despair.
There are things that you can do as a manager to support your employees’ lives outside of work.

Redefine and Design

A single family-friendly strategy won’t meet each of your employee’s individual needs. It’s critical that you take into account the different types of “families” in your group – it could be a GenX-er and his or her dog -- and then consider and discuss the approaches that will work best for each of them. The best way to get this information quickly and easily is simply to ask your employees what would make their lives easier. Then, look for small things in their answers that you might be able to do to help, plus brainstorm with them to create some innovative solutions.

Flex and Support

Think flexibly the next time an employee asks you for different work hours or time off to help a spouse, parent or friend. Think about the real costs of saying “yes.” Will productivity suffer? Will a “dangerous” precedent be set? Will that employee begin to take advantage of you? Probably it is even more likely that your employees will applaud your open-mindedness and willingness to help in a time of need. Plus, if you set clear expectations and accountabilities for your employees, you’ll have even more room to flex when it matters.

To Do
Some family-friendly managers have tried the following ideas. Think about them and what else might work for you.

Allow employees’ children to come to work with them occasionally, usually to celebrate a special occasion or honor a special need.

Invite an employee and his or her spouse, children, parents, or other relatives to lunch.

Allow well-behaved pets in the workplace. (yup, they are family, too)
Stay late to help employees work on Halloween costumes for their kids.

Research eldercare alternatives for an employee who needs help with his or her parents.

Send birthday cards to employees’ family members.

Set up special e-mail and resource areas on the company’s Intranet for employees’ children.

Pulled the team together to watch a video of an employee’s child performing at a high-school event.

Good employees leave family-unfriendly workplaces. If family-friendly means simply allowing your employees to accept an occasional personal phone call, it’s time to get up to speed by finding out what’s going on around you. There are positive payoffs for your efforts, including the competitive edge that only a loyal, committed workforce can provide.

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