Becoming a Soft-Side Accountant
To build a better organization – or family, we need to account for the soft-side values.

By Marshall Goldsmith

Most of us in business spend a great deal of time measuring. We keep close tabs on sales, profits, rate of growth, and return on investment. In many ways, part of being an effective leader is setting up systems to measure everything that matters. It's the only way we can know for sure how we're doing. (read more...)

Teaching Recognition

By Bob Nelson

Since people learn in different ways and at different rates, a variety of approaches should be used when teaching recognition in order to maximize the potential for learning. Here are a few techniques that you will find valuable in teaching about recognition and its related skills. (read more...)

Becoming a Soft-Side Account (^ top)
To build a better organization – or family, we need to account for the soft-side values.

By Marshall Goldsmith

Most of us in business spend a great deal of time measuring. We keep close tabs on sales, profits, rate of growth, and return on investment. In many ways, part of being an effective leader is setting up systems to measure everything that matters. It's the only way we can know for sure how we're doing.

Given our addiction to measurement -- and its documented value -- you would think that we would be more attuned to measuring the "soft-side values" in the workplace: how often we're rude to people, how often we're polite, how often we ask for input rather than shut people out, how often we bite our tongue rather than spit out a needlessly inflammatory remark. Soft values are hard to quantify but, in the area of interpersonal performance, they are as vital as any financial number. They demand our attention if we want to alter our behavior -- and get credit for it.

About 10 years ago, I decided that I wanted to be a more attentive father. So I asked my daughter, Kelly, "What can I do to be a better parent?"

"Daddy," she said, "you travel a lot, but I don't mind that you're away from home so much. What really bothers me is the way you act when you are home. You talk on the telephone, you watch sports on TV, and you don't spend much time with me."

I was stunned, because one, she nailed me and two, I felt like an oafish dad who had unwittingly caused his daughter pain. There's no worse feeling in the world. I recovered quickly, however, by reverting to a simple response that I teach all of my clients. I said, "Thank you. Daddy will do better."

From that moment, I started keeping track of how many days I spent at least four hours interacting with my family without the distraction of TV, movies, football, or the telephone. I'm proud to say that I got better. In the first year, I logged 92 days of unencumbered interaction with my family. The second year, 110 days. The third, 131 days. The fourth, 135 days.

Five years after that first conversation, even though I was spending more time with my family, my business was more successful than it had been when I was ignoring them. I was beaming with pride -- not only with the results, but also with the fact that, like a skilled soft-side accountant, I had documented them. I was so proud, in fact, that I went to my kids, both teenagers by this time, and said, "Look kids, 135 days. What's the target this year? How about 150 days?"

Both children suggested a massive reduction in “Dad time.” My son, Bryan, suggested paring down to 50 days. Their message: You have overachieved. I wasn't discouraged. It was an eye-opener. I was so focused on the numbers, on improving my at-home performance each year, that I forgot that my kids had changed too. An objective that made sense when they were 9 and 12 years old didn't make sense when they were teenagers.

Soft-side accounting has other benefits. If you track a number, it will remind other people that you are trying. It's one thing to tell your employees or customers that you'll spend more time with them. It's a different ball game if you attach a real number to that goal, and people are aware of it. They become much more sensitized to the fact that you're trying to change. They also get the message that you care. This can never be a bad thing.

Everything is measurable, from days spent communicating with employees to hours invested in mentoring a colleague. All you have to do is look at the calendar or your watch -- and count.

Once you see the beauty of measuring the soft-side values in your life, other variables kick in, such as the fact that setting numerical targets makes you more likely to achieve them. Another measurement that I tracked was how often I spent 10 minutes each day engaging my wife and each of my kids in one-on-one conversations. Ten minutes is not a long time, but it's a significant improvement on zero. I found that if I measured the activity, I was much more likely to do it. If I faltered, I always told myself, "Well, I get a credit toward the goal, and it only takes me 10 minutes." Without that measurable goal, I was much more likely to blow it off.

Creating an income statement for the soft stuff will make you a better leader -- even when your teenagers want less of your time.

Marshall Goldsmith (Marshall@MarshallGoldsmith.com ) is corporate America's preeminent executive coach and founding director of Marshall Goldsmith Partners.

Copyright © 2004 Gruner + Jahr USA Publishing. All rights reserved.
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Teaching Recognition (^ top)

By Bob Nelson

Since people learn in different ways and at different rates, a variety of approaches should be used when teaching recognition in order to maximize the potential for learning. Here are a few techniques that you will find valuable in teaching about recognition and its related skills.

Activities and discussion. Getting individuals involved in the topic is an effective way to get them to think about the importance of recognition. You might want to start by asking participants to think of the last time they felt appreciated or the best recognition they ever gave to or received from another employee, and to describe that experience. The resulting discussion and sharing give the group a common baseline of experience upon which to build.

Research and statistics. Using motivation studies or statistics from studies persuasively underscores the importance of recognition, especially for more analytical participants.

Stories and case studies. Often, even more influential than research is the power of a good story. A story can be based on the trainer’s own experience or one the trainer heard from an employee, manager, or in previous training. A full-blown story can serve as a case study, which adds depth of understanding to the topic. For the greatest relevance, use case studies directly from your own organization so that trainees can readily relate to them.

Behavioral modeling. An ideal way to teach any skill, especially interpersonal skills, is to model behaviors related to that skill. When teaching recognition, it is important to demonstrate whenever possible what effective recognition looks like by providing a quick, specific, and sincere informal personal praising to a participant in front of the class, or more formally by role-playing examples of good and poor recognition.

In general, although it is important to make managers, supervisors, team leaders, and all employees aware of the importance of recognition and to train them in the skills of providing recognition, it is even more critical to get them to personally experience the power of recognition. The classroom can be an effective environment in which to help them take the first step in practicing recognition skills and developing an action plan for using those skills once they return to the workplace.

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