4 Words That Control Most Career Decisions
By JT O'Donnell
Did you know that four little words form one simple question that, in my experience, has one of the greatest impacts on how people choose their careers in America? Let me prove it to you…
Imagine you are in a room full of strangers. In order to strike up a conversation, besides introducing yourself and asking a person their name, what’s one of the first questions you’ll ask?
ANSWER: “What do you do?”
There it is. A simple question that is so commonly used in our society, most people ask it absent-mindedly, in the same way they ask a friend, “How are you?” However, the question “What do you do?” has a much more serious implication. That’s because, as soon as we hear a person’s answer, we begin to size them up. Admit it, when someone states what they do for work, we immediately start to think about the profession, our past experiences with people in the field, and then in turn, make generalizations and assumptions about the kind of person they are. In short, we start to decide how much respect we feel we should have for this person.
Now, do I think this is a fair or accurate thing to do? Of course not. How many professionally successful people lead miserable lives? Yet, it’s the truth: career identity plays a huge role in how people are viewed. Which leads to this next observation…
It stands to reason, if we A) know we are going to be asked this question, and B) recognize we are going to be evaluated on our response, then it’s likely that lots of people choose a career based upon its capacity to impress others.
For those of you thinking, “Sure, lots of people probably pursue a career to gain respect, but not me,” I challenge you to look deep inside yourself. Can you honestly say that your current career choice wasn’t rooted in some initial desire to impress others? If so, then congratulations, you must love your work and feel very satisfied. But for those of you who are pondering the possibility that you’ve been pursuing career success to gain respect, let me prove my point with two additional questions:
- If you had to stand up and introduce yourself to a room full of strangers, besides your name, what’s one of the first things you would tell them about yourself?
ANSWER: What you do for work.
- Think of the most successful person you know. Now, ask yourself, “Did I automatically choose someone with career success?” In other words, did you associate the word ‘success’ with professional accomplishments?
ANSWER: Most likely, you chose someone who has accomplished a great deal in their career, yet, you can probably also point out that this success has come at a cost in some other area of their life. (i.e. relationships, health, etc.)
My point is this: as a culture, we place a lot of emphasis on our careers as a way to define us as people. The result is a society that is obsessed with professional success as a way to determine self worth. I’ve been told by more than a few Europeans that Americans “live to work” while they prefer to “work to live.” And it’s true, for many Americans, when work isn’t going well, life isn’t going well, right? But here’s the thing: career success doesn’t guarantee a happy life. In fact, the way many people pursue careers in America leads to very unfulfilling lives. No wonder so many people are unhappy with their careers – they are costing them too much!
It’s time we start to take the pressure off one another and get to know each other better. We might all start to enjoy life a little more. So, here’s what I propose: stop asking the question, “What do you do?” and instead, simply ask, “What do you like to do?” Now there’s a question that will give us much greater insight into a person.
